What Exactly Is ‘Boofing’ And When You Should Never Do It

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Boofing can use a beer funnel. But the funnel doesn’t quite go in your mouth. (Photo by Joe Raedle/Newsmakers)

When someone asks you a question, it helps to know specifically what is being asked. For example, if someone asks you, “have you boofed yet,” don’t answer unless you know exactly what that person means by boofing.

Apparently Supreme Court-nominee Brett Kavanaugh asked that exact question in his high school yearbook page. During the confirmation hearings this week when Senator Sheldon Whitehouse (D-Rhode Island) asked Kavanaugh to clarify what “boofing” means, Kavanaugh responded that he used to term to refer to flatulence as shown in this PBS NewsHour broadcast:

If Kavanaugh’s question then was “have you farted yet,” your answer should be yes. No matter how attractive, how sexy, how well put together, or how non-gaseous you think you may be, you must have farted at some point in your life. In fact, there is a decent probability that you just farted, are in the middle of farting, or are gearing up to fart. That is because you swallow air throughout the day and have bacteria in your intestines that produce various types of gasses. All of this results in accumulated gasses in your intestines, which somehow have to exit. The exit to your intestines is called your rectum. Besides your mouth, there is no other side door that directly connects your intestines and the outside world. That is why you periodically release gift packages of varying sizes of nitrogen, carbon dioxide, hydrogen, methane, skatole, indole, methanethiol, hydrogen sulfide and dimethyl sulfide through your rectum out to the innocent people around you.

However, the word “boof” does not appear in the lists of synonyms for fart provided by Thesaurus.com or by Ben Applebaum and Dan DiSorbo in a HuffPost article entitled “150 Different Words For Fart.” Applebaum and DiSorbo do provide words and phrases such as “air biscuit,” “bottom burp” and “Get out and walk Donald.” But alas no ”boof”, “boofing”, or “have boofed.”

Based on an Internet search, what seems to be a more common use of the term “boofing” is to refer to the act of putting alcohol or psychoactive drugs like cocaine or ecstasy into your rectum, otherwise known as “butt chugging” or “plugging” or “alcohol enemas.” You may ask “butt why would you do that”? Typically, this is not done because you have horrible aim and keep missing your mouth. Your rectum has a relatively thin surface layer and is highly vascularized, meaning that it has many blood vessels. As a result, substances in your rectum could reach your blood stream relatively quickly. This is the whole principle behind suppositories. Scientists didn’t make suppositories just to be amusing. They realized that the rectum is an effective way to reach the bloodstream. Therefore, you may engage in “butt chugging” to get drunk, high, or wasted faster, because who has the time to wait for substances like alcohol to go down into your stomach and intestines and get absorbed through their walls into your bloodstream.

As you can see in this segment in The Daily Show with Trevor Noah, using a funnel (or other ways) to deliver alcohol to your butt has become frequent enough to be featured in the movie Blockers:

Before you decide to “butt chug” or “boof” during your next cocktail event or company holiday party, consider the dangers. Your rectum is not designed to drink alcohol. It is sensitive and easily damaged. That is why you don’t use your rectum in most daily activities or to operate heavy machinery. Also, since your rectum may more readily absorb substances, your chances of overdosing or getting alcohol poisoning may be significantly higher. The risk is heightened by the fact that your rectum doesn’t have the alcohol dehydrogenase enzyme that can help break down ethanol and is present in your stomach and intestines. Moreover, your rectum is less able than your mouth to regulate the amount of alcohol that goes into it. For example, when you drink through your mouth, at least you can vomit (or “ralph”) if you feel like you have had too much to drink. By contrast, your rectum cannot vomit. What goes in your rectum tends to stay in your rectum at least alcohol or drug-wise. Too much ethanol too quickly can then overwhelm your liver, which normally protects the body by breaking down and excreting toxins.

Take a look at two situations where alcohol in the rear end seemed to end badly. In 2004, a man died after his wife had given him a sherry enemy, as reported by Erwin Seba for Reuters In 2012, the HuffPost reported that a 20 year old University of Tennessee student was hospitalized with severe alcohol poisoning after allegedly using alcohol enemas (although the student subsequently denied butt chugging).

Bottom line, butt chugging or boofing is a stupid, stupid thing to do. If you like beer, if you really like beer, use your mouth.

I should add that there are other definitions of “boofing” floating around the Internet. One is smuggling things such as drugs or objects using your rectum. This is also not advisable for some of the reasons mentioned above such as damage to your rectum and the potential for absorption into your bloodstream. If you need to store something, a fanny pack would be much safer.

Two of the other possible definitions of “boofing” are quite different and don’t have the same risks as those listed above. Some have used the word to refer to anal sex. Another available definition of boofing is ”the act, or art, of keeping the bow of your kayak from diving underwater,” according to Paddling.com. This is very different from putting anything in your rectum or farting. Kayaking in general can be a healthy activity as long as you use the proper equipment and take necessary precautions. Kayaking also does not tend to produce an odor, unless you are doing it in a really, really wrong way.

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